The Tower Journal

Nina Asher



CLOSED DOORS

In the house where I grew up
There were no closed doors

Bathrooms
Bedrooms
Hallways
Doors widely ajar
                  Calling
                           “No secrets here.”
                           “Come right in.”
                            “Privacy” is just a seven-letter word.

“Always available whenever you need us.”
Or was it really, “when we need you?”
Which was always.

Open doors tantalize
Feigning welcome
They tease, pretending that all can be freely seen
Walk right in – eyes averted
Taking in the nuanced sidelines

No need for a fantasy of what might go on behind closed doors
In the house where I grew up, the legend said,
There was no shame because nothing was hidden.

                  What was it like to be shut out of an open door?

It fostered a mind creating a story of what I might have missed
If only I looked deeper, been a better detective
After all, whatever could I want if all was freely provided?

Instead, disgrace suppressed normal curiosity
Shame of wanting imprinted itself
                    Humiliation rooted in the longing to know –
                             Connection



Copyright © 2014 Nina Asher


Nina AsherNina Asher is a clinical psychologist and Vipassana (insight) meditation practitioner living in West Los Angeles, CA. For the past decade, she has been interested in the interface between psychotherapy and meditation. Her clinical work, as well as her writing, reflect these means of looking deeply at one's experience. She is married with one adult daughter, and no pets.







The Tower Journal
Fall/Winter 2014